To be posted on the refrigerator Very Low - pet nose high........
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes
are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for
it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that especially pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to
the bottom is not the object.. Tripping me does'nt help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king size bed. I am very sorry about this.
Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when
they sleep.
It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest
extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out to the other end to maximize
space is nothing buy sarcasm.
For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle
I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob, or
get you paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using
the bathroom for years - canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is KISS ME, THEN go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot
stress this enough.
